Stretched

oh man... what a crazy week...

I've stupidly played starcraft 2 all week and ive been exhausted all day and been miserable...

and today I only got 3 hours of sleep because I played games, and I've been awake for 17 hours straight and I've had to babysit monsters that demand piggyback rides all the time, and they smell, and the list goes on...

but still in the midst of my lacking and irrelevant life... God still blesses me. I am just humbled by how much he does for me.. and yet all the time I forget what he has done and live my life the way and I want. But always He just keeps calling me back to Him, and just always wanting the best for me... How could I seriously forget what God has done for me...

I am so unworthy but He loves me sooo much, and uses a piece of trash like me to serve and to be blessed with those around me. I really love God.

Strong Man's House

Hmmm I use to think that not struggling was much better than struggling...

I think I'm still right, but I guess if I'm struggling then Satan is trying to stumble me.

But still I don't understand why I'm having such a hard time with this struggle...


25If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. 26 And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come. 27 In fact, no one can enter a strong man house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can rob his house. -mark 3:25-27

Satan... get out of my house... You cannot win here.

unashamed

hmm been a long time since I wrote in here. It seems weird to talk about my thoughts but I guess I'll give it a try.

So it's only been a day since I've gotten back from LA, and if I had to sum up the trip, I would say it was pleasant. Besides the annoying traffic, stupid parking, and atmosphere... I would say LA is a decent place. It was really good hanging out with good friends in a different area. But honestly whether it be in Norcal, Socal, or anywhere else I think I would always have a good time with this certain group of friends. So overall I don't really miss LA too much because my wonderful bed is here, but I do miss being around my friends.

Even though this was a vacation for me, God taught me a few things from this trip.

The first being... worship is so essential to my life. For 5 days I played with my friends, but I never really got a chance to worship God, and to dwell in His presence. And because of that I felt like someone close to me died. Next time if I'm ever in LA... I think I'll stay for Sunday service...

The second being... only God can fulfill us. After being in the presence of my awesome friends, it was kinda lonely yesterday and today. But again after worshiping God, the emptiness went away.

The third and lastly being... to be faithful about my prayers. The last lesson is super random, but God somehow reminded me to be faithful about my prayers. Psalm 145:17-19

And with that I conclude my post about my vacation to LA, and the lesson that God has taught me this past week.

part 1... the end

Lord... my testimony is complete... thank you =)

Stuff

Adios mio...

4 more weeks and I'm officially no longer a student... I am happy and sad. Happy because I don't have write anymore boring essays, or study for midterms. Sad because now I will have to get up super early for work, and since I am no longer a student, I cannot eat like a student. So my days of eating out late and eating whatever I desire are coming to an end... but I suppose that means I'll lose a lot of weight... I guess that's a good thing...

hmm 4 more weeks... I seriously don't have that much work to do... If I just work on everything diligently I will be basically waltzing into graduation without a sweat... but knowing myself and how attached I am to procrastinating... I will probably put everything off... HA! but then again... I have nothing better to do until graduation...

Life is very pleasant and peaceful... friends are good, church is good, and God is very very good...

Hmm...

This whole school thingy started 3.5 years ago... It has been a long 12 months... the constant pressure of the consequences if I didn't graduate this year... Didn't help that my parents were the ones who were telling me that I better graduate or pack my things and go join the army...

After taking a total of 39 units for one whole school year... all that awaits me is 8 more weeks... And of course a few papers and tests, but as of now it's just only 8 more weeks...

Just a few more weeks and my testimony will be complete. Finally... it's been a long journey =)

So Far...

hah... Well it's been a while since I've updated and many things have happened in that time. First off I just want to thank God for all the things he provided me in the month of February. Since last year in May my future has been hard to predict, and at times I really questioned if I would be able to survive all of the obstacles that lied before me. The biggest hurdle of them all was to actually convince my parents that I was on track to graduate in spring 2010. I told them to trust me and that with time I would be able to graduate. But deep down inside I didn't believe I would be able to graduate in the spring... At most and in the most likeliest of ways I was looking at Fall 2010... which meant a year and half, and to them that wasn't acceptable. But like all of my life I believed the unthinkable. So instead of telling a whole fat long story, I'll cut to the chase... Basically within a period of 1 week God provided me all these opportunities to allow me to turn in all my paperwork and get all the classes I needed in order to graduate. Everything was like clockwork and even though it seemed like an eternity I ended up getting everything in. Before I didn't even think it was possible for me to even apply for graduation but I was able to. And now I faithfully await for the confirmation that I'm all set. That was the biggest thing that happened to me in February.

Looking back on this past month I realized that it was the shortest month of the year but man... it felt like 2 months... I think what got me through all these obstacles was God, church, praise teams, and my friends. In all honesty I never thought I would actually be this involved in my christian life after my fall. It's humbling and just very awesome to see God pull me back to him when I needed him the most. Definitely both praise teams at NLCF and 4 corners have been a tremendous blessing. I enjoy worshiping with all my older brothers and sisters every saturday and sunday. I think I actually enjoy it more because I'm the youngest one on the team, I like being able to goof off but at the same time have all my hyungs and noonas to look after me. And the last thing that helped me were friends. Overall just like having dinner and talking makes the time pass by quicker. Even though they always talk about grad school, studying, and dating... -___-;;; I enjoy their company a lot, even though I wish they had the same views as me on dating (just staying single is awesome! hahaha..) but yea I just thank God for them and their company...

And now March towers over me with this ominous glare... I think this month will be less hectic, but I am still excited to see what God has in store for me.

Last Stand

For most of my life I would like to say that I've had to work hard to achieve something. Not that I'm saying I come from a poor family with a difficult surrounding... but in certain situations, impossible situations, I've had to claw my way to get to where I needed to be... and now I find myself in the same situation... an impossible situation...

But more than my own hard work... it is God's grace, mercy, and provision that has led me out of the depths of certain failure... I thank Him for all the things He has done for me.. Now at the last step of my journey I find myself in a situation where all odds are against me, but more than ever I have complete faith that He will deliver me from this situation, and if things do not go according to my plan, I know that His plan is best for me...

So with that all being said... God I leave it all up to you, help me in this impossible situation so that I can use this as a testimony to show your great and awesome power.

How Fitting...

The hardest thing for me is to just sit and watch... It has been like that all my life. I like contributing, and being involved. I think just obeying in general is one of the hardest things anybody can ask me to do. From sports to ministry, it is so hard for me to obey. I find it kind of funny and ironic that this past Sunday's message was about obedience... and how in the the first week of doing the praise team bible study that I found how the topic of obedience caught my eye...

The irony of how that happened makes me laugh but also fills me with frustration. Because now I find myself in a situation with two options... while the clear choice is to obey God immediately, I can't help the fact that it does hurt me to do it His way. But I know His way is the best way for me and the situation. So I find it fitting after a week of hearing and reading about obedience that I am tested. I guess I just gotta obey and pray.

WTWF

Wow... That was fast...

I never thought I would be able to overcome this obstacle so quickly. All I gotta say is thanks God... I don't know what the future holds... but I will obey and do the best I can to stay on track.

The Re-Return...

I find it funny how quickly I can have a change of heart... It's been a good 2.5-3 years since I really cared about God and my spiritual life. Now more than ever I find myself wanting to be in His presence. I forgot how good it felt to be in His presence, but yet it feels so awkward to change my lifestyle... but man it's good to be back on the side that counts...

Yet again I find myself in a difficult situation... but this time I know how to handle this... I must put my wants, needs, desires, and pride aside in order to do the right thing... Lord give me the eyes to see the right path...

I guess in the first month of the new decade I decided to start off with complete obedience..

I am excited for what the future holds, both the bad and the good.