So where was I? Ahhh yes now I remember. I talked how I didn't want to do things that would hold me back. And after pondering about it I have actually decided to do nothing... For me the "plan" was to graduate and become a staff... and then the "plan" was to go date the "girl" (the one 3 yrs ago girl), and live down in So-Cal, and then after a year or two maybe marry her and keep on doing the staff thing. But I've found out that the "plan" never works out... So basically screw that "plan" and screw the new "plan."
So then what do I do without a plan? How do I go on with my life? It's simple... I can't design my life like some kind of building, it doesn't work that way... I just have to live it and it'll design itself. So does that mean I do nothing? Absolutely not... I just listen to what the Big Man is saying upstairs and just take the eventually take the leap.
So yeah there you have it folks... I'm not going to have this illustrious well thought out master plan for my life... I'm just going to live it day by day and see where I'm going. But the first thing I will definitely do is lose some freaking weight in the summer.. For too long has this tub of fat been clinging onto my stomach and sides... I shall shed these handles off my body... I'll somehow find a way to shed the pounds but thats for tomorrow to decide. alrite short post this time
peace out hombres!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
How I Met My Wifey 1x08- Spoiler Alert
So last post I talked about if I had taken the right path... And basically it was all because of this one friend's facebook post. Her simple 2 sentence post made me think real long and hard (that's what she said). And for about a week I wrestled with it and at the same time I was praying for my future wifey. But all of that came to a stop... All of a sudden her post was just another ordinary post. All of a sudden my prayers for my future wife are becoming vague... Why and what happened you ask? Well basically the new football season started up and I'm back to coaching mode. And basically I remember why I love coaching.. and its simple...
I can be myself... I can be around people that understand the goal that is set. None of us "work out your frustration crap." When people become frustrated, its usually because the goal isn't met. I like to think most people in this world are understanding for the first few times around. But after like the 3rd or 4th time... someone has got to step in and say "hey stop dicking around... your wasting my time and your time" And boom with that statement people will refocus and see what needs to be done the next time around.
And basically thats where I realize that if I do choose that path of a staff... that's what I will have to deal with... I'll have to deal with situations in a certain manner... In football if something isn't met the 3rd or 4th time around. I clearly express my thought to the player.. and boom the player responds by doing it correctly...
I'm not bashing on KCCC but in all honesty I don't think its something I can do for the next 5 years... I can't hold myself back when things aren't going the way it should. I do understand that there are situations beyond my control.. but when there are situations where I can control... I do expect the results to show.
But again who knows... cause honestly her 2 sentence post seriously gave me a good thinking if I was on the right path... and honestly... I don't know if I'm on the right path... All I know is that being true to myself and doing the things that I love are a good starting point. Maybe her words are like a seed that planted in my heart... but honestly who knows what the future lies ahead for us...
All I know right now at this exact moment is that I'm freaking tired.. peace out hombres!
I can be myself... I can be around people that understand the goal that is set. None of us "work out your frustration crap." When people become frustrated, its usually because the goal isn't met. I like to think most people in this world are understanding for the first few times around. But after like the 3rd or 4th time... someone has got to step in and say "hey stop dicking around... your wasting my time and your time" And boom with that statement people will refocus and see what needs to be done the next time around.
And basically thats where I realize that if I do choose that path of a staff... that's what I will have to deal with... I'll have to deal with situations in a certain manner... In football if something isn't met the 3rd or 4th time around. I clearly express my thought to the player.. and boom the player responds by doing it correctly...
I'm not bashing on KCCC but in all honesty I don't think its something I can do for the next 5 years... I can't hold myself back when things aren't going the way it should. I do understand that there are situations beyond my control.. but when there are situations where I can control... I do expect the results to show.
But again who knows... cause honestly her 2 sentence post seriously gave me a good thinking if I was on the right path... and honestly... I don't know if I'm on the right path... All I know is that being true to myself and doing the things that I love are a good starting point. Maybe her words are like a seed that planted in my heart... but honestly who knows what the future lies ahead for us...
All I know right now at this exact moment is that I'm freaking tired.. peace out hombres!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
How I Met My Wifey 1x07- Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M.
so where were we? oh right.. so basically that's how my story went down with that girl. In the end it was never meant to be. I lost a good friend (the girl), lost a friend (the bloke/3rd wheel guy) And for the longest time I had the hardest time accepting that loss. And in that time frame I hate/despised/detested them. And now after a year I find myself rooting for them. I really think they were meant to be together. Even though I am still curious as to what exactly happened and what went down with our relationship; I wouldn't mind if I never find out. And with that in mind the good old saying of "time heals everything" is quite true. I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture that was forming.
And that brings me to the present... recently I became friends with an old friend in my college ministry. In a weird way whenever I did something with that ministry, she seemed to be close by. For example spring retreat, she was in my group twice. For missions, we went to the same place twice; thailand and beijing. And throughout most of my career in KCCC, I never really made the effort in getting to know her. I guess the reason was because I was into that girl before. So recently I decided to add her on facebook; I was lounging around facebook and I saw that "you may know this person" tool and there she was. I was bored so I decided to add her.
Much to my delight, she remembered me and she clearly remembered my testimony years ago back in my first spring retreat.. and asked a question that I put aside last year, and that's where my life is now... I can't help but think how my life would have turned out if I had chosen that path. And honestly her response on facebook has got me thinking..
Did I make the right decision? Is my life where it should be? Is this my destined path?
So many questions have risen since her response... and honestly I'm confused... a bit nostalgic, and a bit regretful... but at the same time I do remember why I left that ministry...
and on that bombshell... we'll see how this shapes out...
And that brings me to the present... recently I became friends with an old friend in my college ministry. In a weird way whenever I did something with that ministry, she seemed to be close by. For example spring retreat, she was in my group twice. For missions, we went to the same place twice; thailand and beijing. And throughout most of my career in KCCC, I never really made the effort in getting to know her. I guess the reason was because I was into that girl before. So recently I decided to add her on facebook; I was lounging around facebook and I saw that "you may know this person" tool and there she was. I was bored so I decided to add her.
Much to my delight, she remembered me and she clearly remembered my testimony years ago back in my first spring retreat.. and asked a question that I put aside last year, and that's where my life is now... I can't help but think how my life would have turned out if I had chosen that path. And honestly her response on facebook has got me thinking..
Did I make the right decision? Is my life where it should be? Is this my destined path?
So many questions have risen since her response... and honestly I'm confused... a bit nostalgic, and a bit regretful... but at the same time I do remember why I left that ministry...
and on that bombshell... we'll see how this shapes out...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
How I Met My Wifey 1x06- Unlucky Dime
So now I will continue on with the 2 years part...
Well after talking to her for about 10 mins, she left to go spend time with her family and I went off to Thailand for my missions. Thailand was alrite, didn't really enjoy it. I just really wanted to go home. So I spent a total of 5 weeks away from the states and now was on my way back to Los Angeles. I spent a week at LA to go to a debriefing. And there it she was, after 6 long weeks of not seeing each other I saw her. I was a pretty happy to see her, and she too was happy. But unfortunately we didn't have time to talk, we both had to spend times with our teams debriefing and spending one last time together.
I ended up working on a project for our team the whole night. The next day arrived and everybody was going to the park. But unfortunately she couldn't, she was going shopping with her friends or family. I was pretty bummed out about it and from there on everything was a blur.
Now the new semester began and I was appointed daepyo of San Jose KCCC. And our journey starts off with a retreat. When I first saw her, I decided to go with the "oh I didn't know you were there" approach. To much of my surprise she did the same thing. I knew she knew that I was there. Weirdly enough we both didn't show our excitement in seeing each other. A hours pass by and everybody is sleeping throughout the retreat site. Being the type of person that doesn't like to take random naps, I went around and scouted the area. Along my journey I found that she was alone playing the guitar. Seeing this as an outstanding opportunity I sat next to her and we talked for a good 20-30 mins. The retreat came and went but something was weird, I felt a little distant from her.
For about a good two months we just had a few chats here and there, but never really hit it off like we did a year ago. I knew something was wrong and I had to fix it. And just as always, an opportunity came up. One of my staff was getting married. I was suiting up and she was dressing up. I thought, wow this is perfect. Unfortunately when I saw her, she ignored me. But later on after the reception, we went to this yogurt place and we sat next to each other and had a blast. Now I thought this was the game saver, it felt like we hit it off again.
For most of the year it was the same, but I decided to be more blunt in my actions. I wanted her to full out know that I liked her. And for the most part she seemed to accept my actions. But this is where that bloke that I mentioned before (the one that was the third wheel in the korea trip) came into the picture. I noticed that she really started opening up to him and that she was in the middle of two guys. I was naturally pist cause this guy was here to cock block me. As the year progressed those two got closer, and me and her stayed the same. Now the end of the year came and I knew that she was starting to like him, but I thought if I had any chance of a rebound it would be in the form of a friend. So me, her and that bloke all went to missions and as usual me and her chatted a lot. We went to this huge conference in Korea, and there I made an statement to God. I told him "God if this is meant to be then our relationship will get better, if not then I guess it was never meant to be." So back to the conference. Well this was a huge huge conference so I rarely saw her there.
The conference passed and all of us went off to our mission field. I didn't get to see her for three weeks. But when I did see her she was very very friendly. She pushed me, and was really happy to see me. I thought okay, God wants this to happen. We didn't get the chance to hang out in Korea, then unfortunately it was my time to go back home.
Now this is the "1 year ago" part. Now I haven't seen her for a good month and the ministry was set to meet at the prayer night thing. But when I saw her, she completely ignored me, gave me the cold shoulder. It was if I had done something so hurtful to her that she rejected me as a friend. A few weeks later after doing some investigative work, I figured out that the bloke (3rd wheel dude) and her liked each other. And slowly but surely I was becoming the 3rd wheel. As the year progressed everything just went down hill. Eventually at the end of the year I took the hint and moved on. I never found out why she suddenly turned the cold shoulder on me, but I guessed that this bloke told her to do that since they were into each other.
If I ever do get the chance to find out what happened, I think I would definitely want to hear it. Now that concludes this post. I talked about 3 years ago, 2 years ago, and a year ago. Next I will be talking about the present. Something interesting just happened.
Peace out Hombres!
Well after talking to her for about 10 mins, she left to go spend time with her family and I went off to Thailand for my missions. Thailand was alrite, didn't really enjoy it. I just really wanted to go home. So I spent a total of 5 weeks away from the states and now was on my way back to Los Angeles. I spent a week at LA to go to a debriefing. And there it she was, after 6 long weeks of not seeing each other I saw her. I was a pretty happy to see her, and she too was happy. But unfortunately we didn't have time to talk, we both had to spend times with our teams debriefing and spending one last time together.
I ended up working on a project for our team the whole night. The next day arrived and everybody was going to the park. But unfortunately she couldn't, she was going shopping with her friends or family. I was pretty bummed out about it and from there on everything was a blur.
Now the new semester began and I was appointed daepyo of San Jose KCCC. And our journey starts off with a retreat. When I first saw her, I decided to go with the "oh I didn't know you were there" approach. To much of my surprise she did the same thing. I knew she knew that I was there. Weirdly enough we both didn't show our excitement in seeing each other. A hours pass by and everybody is sleeping throughout the retreat site. Being the type of person that doesn't like to take random naps, I went around and scouted the area. Along my journey I found that she was alone playing the guitar. Seeing this as an outstanding opportunity I sat next to her and we talked for a good 20-30 mins. The retreat came and went but something was weird, I felt a little distant from her.
For about a good two months we just had a few chats here and there, but never really hit it off like we did a year ago. I knew something was wrong and I had to fix it. And just as always, an opportunity came up. One of my staff was getting married. I was suiting up and she was dressing up. I thought, wow this is perfect. Unfortunately when I saw her, she ignored me. But later on after the reception, we went to this yogurt place and we sat next to each other and had a blast. Now I thought this was the game saver, it felt like we hit it off again.
For most of the year it was the same, but I decided to be more blunt in my actions. I wanted her to full out know that I liked her. And for the most part she seemed to accept my actions. But this is where that bloke that I mentioned before (the one that was the third wheel in the korea trip) came into the picture. I noticed that she really started opening up to him and that she was in the middle of two guys. I was naturally pist cause this guy was here to cock block me. As the year progressed those two got closer, and me and her stayed the same. Now the end of the year came and I knew that she was starting to like him, but I thought if I had any chance of a rebound it would be in the form of a friend. So me, her and that bloke all went to missions and as usual me and her chatted a lot. We went to this huge conference in Korea, and there I made an statement to God. I told him "God if this is meant to be then our relationship will get better, if not then I guess it was never meant to be." So back to the conference. Well this was a huge huge conference so I rarely saw her there.
The conference passed and all of us went off to our mission field. I didn't get to see her for three weeks. But when I did see her she was very very friendly. She pushed me, and was really happy to see me. I thought okay, God wants this to happen. We didn't get the chance to hang out in Korea, then unfortunately it was my time to go back home.
Now this is the "1 year ago" part. Now I haven't seen her for a good month and the ministry was set to meet at the prayer night thing. But when I saw her, she completely ignored me, gave me the cold shoulder. It was if I had done something so hurtful to her that she rejected me as a friend. A few weeks later after doing some investigative work, I figured out that the bloke (3rd wheel dude) and her liked each other. And slowly but surely I was becoming the 3rd wheel. As the year progressed everything just went down hill. Eventually at the end of the year I took the hint and moved on. I never found out why she suddenly turned the cold shoulder on me, but I guessed that this bloke told her to do that since they were into each other.
If I ever do get the chance to find out what happened, I think I would definitely want to hear it. Now that concludes this post. I talked about 3 years ago, 2 years ago, and a year ago. Next I will be talking about the present. Something interesting just happened.
Peace out Hombres!
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