The Bro Code

The Bro Code... written by Barnabus Stinson back in 1752. It is the second most holiest written piece of document known to man. The first being the Holy Bible of course. Anyways I have composed for all of you a handful of articles and a picture of the bro code. I am actually going to get my copy in November. Now enough of me and let me give you the bro code.

Bro Code:

Article 1: Bro's before Ho's

Article 26: A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existance of a girl fight.

Article 34: Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil's Threesome.

Article 53: A Bro will whenever possible provide his Bro with protection.

Article 56: A Bro shall never reveal the score of a sporting event to another Bro until that Bro has thrice confirmed it's cool.

Article 57: A Bro may not speculate on the expected Bro/chick ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ration.

Article 58: If a Bro, for whatever reason, becomes aware of another Bro's girlfriend's birthday and/or anniversary date, he shall endeavor to make that information available to his Bro, regardless of whether he thinks his Bro already knows.

Article 59: One Bro makes a sole attack; A second Bro provdes a crutch; A third Bro rounds out the pack; But a fourth Bro is one too much.

Article 60: Should a Bro be near to closing wth a girl, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome, up to and including the seduction of said girl's wildly unattractive cousin/friend/mother.

Article 61: A Bro shall honor thy father and mother.

Article 62: In the eent that two Bros aquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet roshambo shall determine the outcome.

Article 63: In a scenario in which two of more Bros are engaged in entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bron in ANY capacity, including but not limited to: the high-five, the fist bump, or congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

Article 64: A Bro must provide his Bro with a ticket to an event if said event involves the second Bro's favourite sports team in a playoff scenario.

Article 65: A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drink(s) among Bros with the proviso that no existing wager supersedes this purchase and exchange of spirits.

Article 66: If a Bro suffers pain due to the permanent dissolution of a relationship with a lady friend, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a 'that sucks, man' and copious quantities of beer. A Bro will also refrain from pejorative commentary - desered or not - regarding said lady friend for a period of three months, when the requisite BACKSLIDE WINDOW has closed.

Article 67: Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.

Article 68: If a Bro be on hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardizing his own records, the missing of work, or temporary immigration to a foreign country.

Article 77: A Bro never cries

Article 87: A Bro shall at all times say 'Yes'.

Article 89: The mom of a Bro is always off limits, but the step mom of a bro is fair game if she initiates it and/or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing.

Ladies... This is all you will get. I will never ever post the full bro code because it is not for you. Also I hope that this will be in an article when I purchase my copy in November.

Article X: No woman should ever lay their eyes on this sacred document.


This is what it looks like. Awesome.

Next post: Mystery stalker girl in my class. Who is she? Why does she keep looking at me? And what should I do?

Peace out hombres!